How To Travel Like A Genius : Supplements And That Bridesmaids Scene

How To Travel Like A Genius … 101 

so i’ve just done a long haul flight .. 23 hours all up .. i do this maybe 2-3 times per year .. so my friends …i am a F*cking star at travelling , and have met every kind of traveller possible .

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Firstly i would like to mention, you can take as much food as you want on the plane , you can make your meals at home and take them onboard long as they arent a liquid over 100ml .. I take vegetables, fruit and salads , you’re not obligated to eat plane food , this really confuses me when people are like ” ugh i feel bad I had to eat plane food , you know how disgusting that stuff is !” yehhh i do .. so do you apparently , but the steward must have held the air-marshalls gun to your head and stuffed that rock hard bread roll down your throat .. because i see that happen so much .. What the F&ck ??!?

so take apples, berries, salads, granola , vegetables.. for christ sake take half the health food store , you’ll feel so much better for it and i promise no one will blink an eye, people will just be like .. dammit i wish i had brought delicious food, whilst eating a curry in a foil dish that looks like a warmed up turd .

Now thats off my chest .. here are some supplements for every Traveller

The Nervous Traveller 

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AKA the calming mineral .. its key in relaxing your muscles physically as well as your brain , and is so beneficial to sleep its retarded , this is good for the flyer who needs to neck 4 vodka mini bottles before you’ve even sat down .

dr hyman writes about it here


The Sleepless Traveller 

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cant sleep on planes? or want to get sleep aligned with the timezone you’re about to arrive at? melatonin is your best friend , melatonin is a hormone naturally occurring in the body and regulates the sleep – wake  cycle of your body . it allows for more seamless adjustment to timezones

The “I Look Like Shit After A Long Haul Flight ” Traveller 

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Green Supplements 

dehydration , lack of oxygen and lack of nutrients are to blame for this one .. which is why you should take as many leafy greens on the plane with you . but taking a Greens Supplement will do wonders, they also keep your digestion detoxing so you wont get bloated from the pressure of eating food so high up!! plus it will give you some added boost and energy .. think something with barley grass (alkalising) spirulina (energising) and Chorella (detoxing) .

The Blocked Up Traveller 

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Magnesium Oxide 

i had to add this one , its disgusting yes .. but the amount of people who ask me about this one … if i had a penny!

different to magnesium supplements (please don’t confuse them :I) , magnesium oxide (Milk Of Magnesium) is a bowel supplement .. not a laxative as such as all it does is bring oxygen and moisture back to the digestive tract allowing for proper elimination naturally (no running to the bathroom required) it is really important to be eliminating especially if you choose to eat the plane food (silly) because you’ll need energy when you’ve compromised your body due to  changing your eating habits, exotic foods , timezones, and lack of routine .. so this will be a game changer .

The Stomach Bug Traveller 

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Probiotics + Colloidal Silver 

there is always one person you know (its probably you), who steps on a plane  gets sneezed on by an old dude and rubbed by the snotty fingers of the child sitting next to you .. and boom you’re out with either flu or gastro , people have come to accept these travel bugs as just a natural occurrence of air travel . it needn’t be so , first probiotics .. the good bacteria in your body , when strong will fight an win against almost ALL bacteria, infections and germs so keep those little men strong and take probiotics throughout the flight .

secondly another line of defence is colloidal silver (in spray form) is activated silver suspended in water which when sprays acts as a barrier between you and any bacteria and germs .. i spray my blanket and chair as well as myself (like a shower of tiny jewellery ) .. or better yet when the mother isn’t looking .. spray the sticky child next to you , then hide under your blanket and pretend its a fun game .

The Bad Circulation Traveller 

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Garlic supplements 

Swelly legs, tired face, stiffness and tingling .. yeh that would be you and your shitty circulation , they say most people should take aspirin when flying not just to prevent from DVT (deep vein thrombosis)  but to just assist the body in circulating your blood (and water) when put under the strain and literal pressure of high altitudes . but you don’t need to take aspirin .. Garlic is one of the best anticoagulants in the world , its been used for thousands of years, and naturally aids circulation , and has similar (sometimes clinically proven to have better) effects of circulation when flying.

Finally , the usual tips, drink loads of water, get up and walk , and finally enjoy that you have however many hours to sit and think about fun stuff or watch some shitty films . p.s another plus when you bring your own food with you, is you get to use the bathroom whilst everyone else is being served dinner… and we know what the bathroom is like when 100 plus people get fed toxic high shelf-life airplane food.. so enjoy your fresh as a daisy toilet time before the masses tarnish it .



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