How To Travel Like A Genius : Supplements And That Bridesmaids Scene

How To Travel Like A Genius … 101 

so i’ve just done a long haul flight .. 23 hours all up .. i do this maybe 2-3 times per year .. so my friends …i am a F*cking star at travelling , and have met every kind of traveller possible .

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Firstly i would like to mention, you can take as much food as you want on the plane , you can make your meals at home and take them onboard long as they arent a liquid over 100ml .. I take vegetables, fruit and salads , you’re not obligated to eat plane food , this really confuses me when people are like ” ugh i feel bad I had to eat plane food , you know how disgusting that stuff is !” yehhh i do .. so do you apparently , but the steward must have held the air-marshalls gun to your head and stuffed that rock hard bread roll down your throat .. because i see that happen so much .. What the F&ck ??!?

so take apples, berries, salads, granola , vegetables.. for christ sake take half the health food store , you’ll feel so much better for it and i promise no one will blink an eye, people will just be like .. dammit i wish i had brought delicious food, whilst eating a curry in a foil dish that looks like a warmed up turd .

Now thats off my chest .. here are some supplements for every Traveller

The Nervous Traveller 

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AKA the calming mineral .. its key in relaxing your muscles physically as well as your brain , and is so beneficial to sleep its retarded , this is good for the flyer who needs to neck 4 vodka mini bottles before you’ve even sat down .

dr hyman writes about it here


The Sleepless Traveller 

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cant sleep on planes? or want to get sleep aligned with the timezone you’re about to arrive at? melatonin is your best friend , melatonin is a hormone naturally occurring in the body and regulates the sleep – wake  cycle of your body . it allows for more seamless adjustment to timezones

The “I Look Like Shit After A Long Haul Flight ” Traveller 

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Green Supplements 

dehydration , lack of oxygen and lack of nutrients are to blame for this one .. which is why you should take as many leafy greens on the plane with you . but taking a Greens Supplement will do wonders, they also keep your digestion detoxing so you wont get bloated from the pressure of eating food so high up!! plus it will give you some added boost and energy .. think something with barley grass (alkalising) spirulina (energising) and Chorella (detoxing) .

The Blocked Up Traveller 

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Magnesium Oxide 

i had to add this one , its disgusting yes .. but the amount of people who ask me about this one … if i had a penny!

different to magnesium supplements (please don’t confuse them :I) , magnesium oxide (Milk Of Magnesium) is a bowel supplement .. not a laxative as such as all it does is bring oxygen and moisture back to the digestive tract allowing for proper elimination naturally (no running to the bathroom required) it is really important to be eliminating especially if you choose to eat the plane food (silly) because you’ll need energy when you’ve compromised your body due to  changing your eating habits, exotic foods , timezones, and lack of routine .. so this will be a game changer .

The Stomach Bug Traveller 

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Probiotics + Colloidal Silver 

there is always one person you know (its probably you), who steps on a plane  gets sneezed on by an old dude and rubbed by the snotty fingers of the child sitting next to you .. and boom you’re out with either flu or gastro , people have come to accept these travel bugs as just a natural occurrence of air travel . it needn’t be so , first probiotics .. the good bacteria in your body , when strong will fight an win against almost ALL bacteria, infections and germs so keep those little men strong and take probiotics throughout the flight .

secondly another line of defence is colloidal silver (in spray form) is activated silver suspended in water which when sprays acts as a barrier between you and any bacteria and germs .. i spray my blanket and chair as well as myself (like a shower of tiny jewellery ) .. or better yet when the mother isn’t looking .. spray the sticky child next to you , then hide under your blanket and pretend its a fun game .

The Bad Circulation Traveller 

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Garlic supplements 

Swelly legs, tired face, stiffness and tingling .. yeh that would be you and your shitty circulation , they say most people should take aspirin when flying not just to prevent from DVT (deep vein thrombosis)  but to just assist the body in circulating your blood (and water) when put under the strain and literal pressure of high altitudes . but you don’t need to take aspirin .. Garlic is one of the best anticoagulants in the world , its been used for thousands of years, and naturally aids circulation , and has similar (sometimes clinically proven to have better) effects of circulation when flying.

Finally , the usual tips, drink loads of water, get up and walk , and finally enjoy that you have however many hours to sit and think about fun stuff or watch some shitty films . p.s another plus when you bring your own food with you, is you get to use the bathroom whilst everyone else is being served dinner… and we know what the bathroom is like when 100 plus people get fed toxic high shelf-life airplane food.. so enjoy your fresh as a daisy toilet time before the masses tarnish it .



The Ultimate Guide To Cravings


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I came across this the other day and thought .. jesus why is this not common knowledge , people can be ruled by cravings for food .. i have posted on it before .. but its so fun reading this list and finding out why you’re craving certain things.. (I use the term FUN loosely , i am aware it may only be fun for me )

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How To F*ck Up A Smoothie Or Juice

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health is all the rage at the moment … it seems more and more that people are posting photos on facebook/twitter/instagram about their health pursuits.. i am guilty (but conscious) of this .. but the more i’ve been looking at other peoples health boasts the more annoyed im getting  .. i didn’t realise people had the ability to royally F*ck up simple things like smoothies and juices.. CALM DOWN SHHHH .. and then people wonder why they feel no better, they get ill , or they still look like sh*t (not you reading, i’m sure you are beautiful, with ya glossy hair and your glowing skin)

here we go . these are the top SIX ways you have fudged your daily healthy Smoothie/Juice


Adding Dairy To Your Smoothie

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this is really old school , that yogurt and milk go in a smoothie , but this is food combining 101 .. dairy does not goeth in the smoothie people .. its acidic and hard to digest , and if you are having dairy in your life (brave claps for being brave) aim for un-pasturised RAW organic dairy , as it contains the digestive enzymes (which are destroyed in pasteurisation) to allow the dairy to assimilate into your body . when you mix dairy with fruit (put the fruit yogurt down) you’re making your body work too hard , fruit digest within minutes.. dairy hours .. you’re going to get gassy .. i put it out there .. youre going to get GASSY


Not Chewing It

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this sounds ridiculous .. I thought we eat smoothies and juices so we don’t have to chew.. oops? , actually the whole point of chewing is to begins digestion. Along with breaking down food , it mixes with saliva and the enzymes within to start breaking down the nutrients , so swishing your smoothie and juice around your mouth is going to allow for it to get into your body better and quicker … it will also allow for you to really take your time with it, limiting that high burst of energy . Anyway If you don’t believe me , heres someone else who has written about it


Having The Same Greens Every Time

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only like spinach ? so you’re putting spinach in your morning juice/smoothie.. everyday … and you feel shit.. and you maybe have some skin problems ?!?! BOOHOO .. no but…  rotating your greens IS SO IMPORTANT !!! i see this one a lot,people assume because they’re having greens its all good .. but the saying too much of a good thing .. yeh its applicable here SO LISTEN : green leafy plants carry small amounts of protective inhibitors and toxin type properties in order to be protected . now if we have kale everyday all the time , its specific inhibitors build up in us .. and start to cause problems.. notably with the thyroid (your metabolism) so its important to change it out , plus you’re opening yourself up to different vitamins and minerals which is always good .. heres an article about the hows and whys of the green rotation


Going Superfood Mental


this one gets me so crazy , super foods like Cacao , Maca, Acai and Ginseng are all amazing , but they need to be treated with respect .. theyre nutrient powerhouses and should be used moderately .. Cacao for example is an Energy food .. but too much , similarly to coffee ,stimulates the adrenal glands.. doing this often , you’re going to get adrenal fatigued .. and you can say goodbye to getting out of bed

Maca is a hormonal balancer , so especially girls need to limit it .. so many girls have come to me have Maca in everything and wondering why they CRAY.. its your hormones (youre welcome).. so look at the back of the label .. and follow the recommended serving size.. no matter how delicious it is .. calm yo’self down

google your Superfoods and read up on them .




this is my favourite , when people put like 12 different fruits in a smoothie and then a tiny stem of broccoli .. and they’re all like HASHTAG CLEAN EATING  HASHTAG CLEANSE .. blah blah blah .. fruit is sugar .. sugar is bad .. especially in juices .. you’re removing the fiber which makes the sugar slow absorbing .. so you might as well just spoon some HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP in some water and drink that with a multivitamin , because thats about as good for you . Other than Berries and Citrus Fruit .. ONE PEICE IS MORE THAN PLENTY in your drink , look to stevia if you like it  sweeter … trust me , i just saved your pancreas .


Not Diluting it


this is a simple one.. water .. WATER is needed in both smoothies and juice in order to dilute it .. not too much though as you will dilute the enzymes , but enough to loosen it up , otherwise like NEAT vodka.. its strong , and its taxing on your body , also its lubricating all the vitamins and minerals and they’ll swish through you  like some harry potter magic .