Gwyneth Paltrow Is Not A Witch Doctor .. Everyone needs to calm down

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So Gwyneth Paltrow brought out a book called “Its All Good” and it seems it isn’t .

because of the health advice she advocates .. like keeping away from processed foods , green juices and home cooking .. she is now officially a Witch Doctor who is Fritzl-ling her children and forcing kale down their throats whilst swatting them with a Rain Stick ..

5 Reasons Why Gwyneth Paltrow Is In Fact Not A Witch Doctor :

 

1.

She is a walking product of her healthy diet .. and seriously WTF she looks incredible ..its undeniable .. have you seen her legs?

2.

Yes she founded and is the editor of a site called GOOP which has been branded ” elitist and expensive” … news flash living healthy is actually expensive …yes (sowwy) .. however Gwyneth not being a member of the agricultural board or involved in the pricing of organic foods is not actually to blame .. SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR!

3.

when did wanting your children to eat healthy become child abuse? am i missing something ? Isn’t it the other way around .. wait .. WHAT?!

 

4.

SHE F*CKING LISTENS TO RAP ! everyones all like aghhh she’s mistreating her children !!! mistreating .. mistreating . She’s teaching them SWAG people .. and you know she’s bumpin’ and grindin’ around her kitchen as she bakes her gluten free /dairy free/organic fish fingers whilst hollering “WHAT SHE ORDER? FISH FILET”

 

5.she actually has some tips that have scientific backing and don’t revolve around faddy celebrity diets .. she actually enjoys natural approaches to well being as seen BELOW

(the Colloidal Silver trick she shares my mum has done for years.. someone please put me in touch with a counsellor .. apparently I was abused and raised by a voodoo loving mentalist )

 

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2 thoughts on “Gwyneth Paltrow Is Not A Witch Doctor .. Everyone needs to calm down

  1. I definitely like her legs in your picture! :)))
    She does look great, and thank you for the tip on Collodial Silver. I heard about it once from my naturopath/nutritionist friend, but didn’t pay attention – but it makes sense, and I think I should get one.

  2. I definitely like her legs in your picture!!! :)))
    She does look great though, and thank you for the tip on Collodial Silver. My naturopath/nutritionist friend told me about it before, but I didn’t pay attention. It makes sense how it works though, and I think I should get one!

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